Justin Ontong tour diary

Supersport may have AB De Villiers but the Commentary Position has Justin "I'm not Robin Peterson" Ontong.

May 29

Squad arrives in England. Mickey tells me that I'm rooming with Kallis and Bouch. When I tell him that there are only 2 beds, he tells me not to worry as Kallis and Bouch share a bed. They're not gay. They're just really good friends.

May 30

First training session. Mickey says I don't need to bother having a net as he's sure I'm in great nick. When he sees me bowling a few deliveries he asks me to load balls into the bowling machine instead. I was feeling a bit down but then I saw Robin Peterson was tasked with wiping the sweat off Graeme Smith's brow and nether regions, so I don't feel so bad.

June 1

First warm up game against Pakistan today. Unfortunately I didn't get any game time. We were allowed to name a 13 man team but Mickey said that that would just be too confusing. He's right.


June 2

Despite being two men short, we clobbered the Pakis yesterday. Mickey said I carried the drinks like a pro. Robbie and I get the day off to go to the zoo. Nice to have a break from the daily grind but Yusuf isn't so lucky. He was going to join us but Dale needed a full body massage and thinks Yusuf has exotic and magical fingers.

June 3

Second warm up game today. I'm looking forward to some game time, along with the other lads that had to sit out against Pakistan.

June 4

The good news is that we won. The bad news is that Mickey picked the same 11 players. Robbie, Yusuf and Morne convinced me to go have a word with the skipper about our lack of game time. Graeme was having his usual McDonalds lunch, so I didn't want to go straight up and disturb him. I asked Bouch to see if Graeme had time to talk to me, but when he returned he claimed Graeme had said, "Justin who?"

Mickey says I'm special but on days like today its hard to feel like it.


God, that was riveting. I'll bring more exclusive entries later in the week.