Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Dale Steyn - drug addict

Some would point out that Dale Steyn has been cleared of any suspicion regarding the extra morphine found in his system during tests in the IPL.

What you don't know is that 6 months ago I was preparing for the most important cricket match of my life - a one vs one battle royale between myself and Roscoe, to take place in the leafy street outside my house. I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to hit Roscoe for quite as many sixes as I usually do, so I placed an ad online for coaching advice.

What I got instead was an email from Dale Steyn. He told me the secret to his success, and the potential solution for my problem, was morphine. Like a fool I was immediately suckered in to his dark world.

I met up with Dale in a really seedy part of the city, the parking area around the back of Blue Route Mall, and we exchanged money and drugs. And some bodily fluid - supposedly to seal the deal. I dunno, I'm not very "street". As soon as I got him I took my first hit and dreamed of the six hitting to come.

How did the game against Roscoe go? I got dizzy, flushed, confused and constipated so we had to go inside and play PES instead.

It's morphine for crying out loud, why is this a news story?!?!


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